Workplace Relationships Colleagues, Managers and Connection at Work

Work occupies a large share of our waking lives, and the relationships we have there strongly influence how we feel about it. Good colleagues make a hard job bearable, and poor relationships can make even a good job miserable.

Research on team effectiveness has highlighted the importance of psychological safety, a term popularised by the researcher Amy Edmondson. It describes a shared belief that it is safe to speak up, ask questions, admit mistakes and disagree without fear of embarrassment or punishment. Teams with high psychological safety tend to learn faster and perform better. At an individual level, supportive relationships at work are associated with greater job satisfaction and lower stress.

Work friendships also matter. They provide support, laughter and a sense of belonging, and they can be a source of practical help and career advice. At the same time, relationships at work have to operate within the constraints of hierarchy, competition and professional boundaries, which makes them different from friendships elsewhere.

Trust at work is built in small, consistent ways. It is about being reliable, being fair and being open.

Do what you say you will do, and tell people early if you cannot. Be honest, give credit to others and avoid gossip, which damages trust. Listen carefully and ask questions about colleagues' work and priorities. Learn people's names, roles and preferences, and notice what they need. A genuine thank you, specific and prompt, is more powerful than people expect.

Make time for informal conversation. Small talk about weekends, interests and families builds rapport, and it makes serious conversations easier when they are needed. Not everyone is comfortable sharing personal details, so respect boundaries, and share only what you are comfortable with.

Build relationships across levels and teams, not only with those like you. Offer help, ask for advice and be open to feedback. When you make a mistake, admit it quickly and say what you are doing to put it right. People trust those who take responsibility.

Almost everyone has encountered a difficult colleague or manager: someone who is critical, unreliable, domineering, passive-aggressive or simply hard to read. You cannot change them, but you can change how you respond.

Start by trying to understand. Ask what might be driving their behaviour: pressure, insecurity, poor communication, different working styles or a lack of skills. This does not excuse unacceptable behaviour but it can help you to respond with less reactivity. Check that you are not making assumptions, and consider whether there is a misunderstanding.

Address problems directly and early, in private, calmly and factually. Describe the specific behaviour, its impact and what you would like to be different, using the techniques of the ebook on better conversations. For example: when deadlines change without notice, I struggle to plan my work, and I would like us to agree a way to flag changes sooner. Keep notes of key events, in case you need them later.

With a difficult manager, try to understand their priorities, communicate in the way they prefer and make their job easier. Ask for regular one-to-ones, clarify expectations in writing and be clear about your workload. Pick your battles, and escalate only when necessary, using your organisation's procedures.

Not all unpleasant behaviour at work is bullying, and not all conflict is a sign of dysfunction. But some behaviour crosses the line, and you have rights.

ACAS, the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service, describes bullying as offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power, or conduct that undermines, humiliates or harms. Examples include persistent criticism, shouting, exclusion, spreading rumours, undermining, unreasonable workloads and public humiliation. Harassment relates to unwanted conduct connected to a protected characteristic under the Equality Act 2010, such as sex, race, disability, religion, sexual orientation or age. Sexual harassment is a form of discrimination.

If you are being bullied or harassed, keep a record with dates, times, witnesses and what happened. Check your employer's policies on bullying, grievances and dignity at work. Try to resolve it informally if you can do so safely, perhaps by speaking to the person or your manager. If this does not work, or if it is too serious, make a formal complaint under the grievance procedure. You can get free, confidential advice from ACAS on 0300 123 1100, from a trade union representative or from Citizens Advice.

If a grievance does not resolve matters, you may be able to bring a claim to an employment tribunal, but there are strict time limits, usually three months less a day from the act complained of, and you generally have to notify ACAS for early conciliation first. Take advice promptly.

Remote and hybrid working offer flexibility, but they also remove many of the chance encounters that build relationships. Staying connected takes deliberate effort.

Be intentional about communication. Schedule regular one-to-ones and team catch-ups, and use video where it helps. Make time for informal conversation, such as a few minutes at the start of a meeting or a virtual coffee. Over-communicate rather than under-communicate, and be clear about your availability, priorities and progress.

Be thoughtful about inclusion. In hybrid teams, those who are in the office may get more attention, and remote colleagues may feel overlooked. Make sure that everyone has a chance to contribute in meetings, share decisions in writing and avoid important conversations that take place only in the office. Use the right tool for the job: chat for quick questions, calls for complex discussion and written updates for decisions.

Watch for isolation. Working alone at home can be lonely. Stay in touch with colleagues, attend occasional in-person events and look for connection outside work, such as groups and activities in your community. Take breaks, and recognise the signs of video fatigue by varying how you meet.

Good work relationships rest on healthy boundaries, between work and home, and between colleagues.

Protect your time and energy. Be clear about your working hours and availability, and resist the pull to respond to messages at all hours. Say no to extra demands when you are overloaded, offering alternatives or asking for priorities to be clarified. Take your breaks and your leave. Politely decline invitations or conversations that cross your personal limits, and keep confidences.

Use the support available. Many organisations offer employee assistance programmes, mental health first aiders, occupational health and flexible working arrangements. Trade unions provide advice and representation. Talk to your manager about adjustments if you have a health condition or disability, since employers have legal duties to make reasonable adjustments.

Know when to move on. If a workplace is persistently toxic, damaging your health or showing no willingness to change, it may be time to look for another job. This is not failure. It is a decision to protect your wellbeing. Take advice, keep records and plan your move carefully. Wherever you go, the habits of trust, respect, clear communication and boundaries will take you far.